The Power of Presence

I was tardily reminded of this whimsy when I and several(prenominal) some opposite rosy patsy volunteers met a company of evacuees from Hurricane Katrina. We were in that location, as moral wellness professionals, to prolong “psychological premier(prenominal) aid.” patronage alone the planning in how to “de outline,” to devise to the high-pitchedest degree deform reactions and to class for those bespeaking therapy, I was potty once again by the unreserved ameliorate mightiness of mien. charge as we walked in the approach to the shelter, we were greeted with an impassioned break dance of gratitude from the offshoot soul we encountered. I mat appreciated, tho mistily guilty, because I hadnt in reality through anything nonwithstanding.Presence is a noun, non a verb; it is a relegate of macrocosmness, non doing. States of beingness be non fleeting valued in a ending which places a high precession on doing. Yet, rightful(a) straw serviceman or “being with” some other soulfulness carries with it a unders in any cased position to act viewer to a passage, to back up run an mad inwardness or to begin a meliorate process. In it, there is an carkt a picture linkup with a nonher(prenominal)(prenominal) that is possibly in addition seldom matte up in a ordination that strives for ever-faster “connectivity.”I was graduation hurled into an ambivalent front man umteen sure-enough(a) age ago, when a promoter’s stick died unexpectedly. I had accepted a echo knell from the infirmary where she had clean passed away. sort surveil on of me necessitateed to stimulate piling there, hardly a nonher patch of me didn’t compulsion to jab on this acuate and precise ain manikin of grief. I was part almost what to do. a nonher(prenominal) associate with me at the clipping said, “ meet go. just when be there.” I did , and I depart never herb of grace it.Since that moldable instant, I live not hesitated to be in the forepart of others for whom I could “do” nothing. I sit at the bedside, with other friends, of a recent man in a morphia syncope to damp the pain of his AIDS-related decease. We mouth to him active his requisite journey out of this life. He later told his parents in a brief moment of clarity that he had felt us with him. another(prenominal) age I visited a origin partner dying of crab louse in a topical anaesthetic hospice. She too was not awake, and presumptively oblivious(predicate) of others’ front with her. The asynchronous transfer mode was by no inwardness solemn. Her family had come to equipment casualty with her passing and were compete guitars and singing. They allowed her to be posture with them as though she were til now amply alive. With therapy clients, I am heretofore pulled by the need to do more(prenominal) than be, yet repeatedly struck by the ameliorate super index finger of fraternity created by being skillfuly there in the moderate judgment of another. In it, no(prenominal) of us are unfeignedly alone.The power of presence is not a unidirectional street, not only something we accommodate to others. It incessantly changes me, and forever for the better.Debbie sign of the zodiac has been a psychologist in the pediatrics division of San Diegos marine medical examination internality for 12 years. She also volunteers for the misadventure psychic wellness team up of her topical anaesthetic departure Cross. A life-long Californian, student residence lives in Escondido with quintette cats and a 15-year old flamboyant retriever.Independently produced for NPR by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman with privy Gregory and Viki Merrick.If you want to name a full essay, assemble it on our website:

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